Diary of an Office Kitchen - Week 10
Monday 25 May 2020
7.45am Alarm goes off.
8.30am Find David sat at my desk in the office kitchen.
8.35am Move David along –he is making the place look untidy and usher him into the garden.
10.30am All day Pop Master is on! All day!!!
1.00pm Make lunch for David. He eats a lot and stays really slim. I hate him.
1.01pm David asks Alexa to play “soft rock”. For the love of god! What has he become?
3.00pm Suddenly realise I’ve thoroughly enjoyed listening to “soft rock” for the last two hours. What have I become?
3.01pm Pull myself together and put Pop Master back on. It’s on all day! It’s taken a global pandemic for this to happen. Surely, it should have happened before this...
5.00pm Pour a G&T for David who has been gardening all day.
5.01pm Pour a G&T for me to numb the pain that I love “soft rock”.
Tuesday 26 May 2020
4.30am David left for work.
12.30pm Call from James to check I’m watching Edinburgh Zoo’s Panda cam. Yang Guang the male panda has just made an appearance! We can hardly contain our excitement! I’m obsessed with this Panda cam!
12.32pm Suddenly realise I’m late for team Zoom meeting. I blame James for keeping me. Honestly, he’s obsessed with those pandas...
1.00pm Meeting ends and I log back onto Panda cam.
2.30pm Eat one sugar free biscuit. Throw packet away.
2.32pm Open chocolate digestive biscuits and eat half the pack.
3.00pm Realise we are perilously low on teabags and I can only find green tea. I decide that green tea isn’t so bad with the other half packet of chocolate biscuits.
8.00pm Zoom party for my second cousins 18th birthday celebrations. He seems delighted that around 11 of his Dad’s middle-aged cousins have gate-crashed his party with his cool friends. I can show him and his friends cool! I now know a lot about soft rock!
8.30pm David arrives home with teabags whilst I’m singing soft rock to a bunch of 18 year olds via Zoom.
Wednesday 27 May 2020
4.45am David left for work.
10.00am No Zoom meetings today. Regret spending the time styling my hair in a beehive. No one will appreciate the effort it took.
12.45pm Back from Woolly Wonders walk. George decided to get stuck in a hedge (not my beehive). A helpful passer-by thought I’d lost my child in the hedge. Um he is my child!
1.00pm Read an article about a blue plaque that has appeared at Barnard Castle which says “Dominic Cummings was lurking in these parts”.
2.30pm Eat half a tub of ice-cream.
3.30pm Log on to Panda cam.
4.00pm Wonder when my neighbours across the road are going to bring their bins in. They have been out for more than 24 hours. It’s not like they’ve much else to do! Bring the bins in!!
4.30pm Get beehive stuck whilst putting up garden lounger. That’s the last time I sport this hairstyle!
5.00pm Decide to sit outside with a glass of rosé and pretend I’m by a pool somewhere exotic. Have to keep my eyes shut tight.
8.00pm David home with bananas.
Thursday 28 May 2020
4.30am David left for work.
8.45am Log on to Panda cam.
9.00am Finish off the ice-cream.
12.30pm Grab a bacon sandwich whilst listening to Nicola’s update for the day.
1.00pm We are now in Phase 1!!! Pour a glass of prosecco to celebrate!
1.20pm Watch neighbours bring their bins in. Pour another glass of prosecco to celebrate.
2.00pm Email from my sister asking what Phase 1 is as she has noticed I seem excited about it after posting on Instagram and Facebook. I explain we can now meet outside, for a picnic, but we need to bring our own crockery, cutlery, glasses, food and drink...she seems underwhelmed. There is also the little matter of 342 miles between us, but that didn’t stop Dominic Cummings!
7.30pm David home with his lunch that he forgot to eat. How on earth can you forget to eat??
Friday 29 May 2020
4.45am David left for work.
7.30am Water plants in the garden. (This was a strict instruction from David...I wouldn’t think of this one on my own).
8.30am Log on to Panda cam.
10.00am Call from Mum as she is confused regarding the messages coming out regarding meeting friends and relatives. Well Mum here we go: In England, you can now meet in groups of up to six people from different households outside, either in parks or private gardens, as long as you remain 2m apart. From today in Scotland, members of two different households are allowed to meet outdoors as long as we remain 2m apart and groups cannot be bigger than eight people. In Wales, people from two different households will be able to meet each other outdoors from Monday. In Northern Ireland groups of four to six people who are not in the same household can meet outdoors. Well that’s all pretty straight forward...
12.45pm Back from a walk with the Woolly Wonders. I bumped into the same helpful passer-by who thought my child was stuck in a hedge on Wednesday. Luckily I don’t think he recognised me without my beehive.
1.30pm Share diary with SL