Diary of an Office Kitchen - Week 12

June 12, 2020 - Holly Elliott

Friday 5 June 2020 Quizoom Special

4.45pm Text from Gavin to say he is unable to attend the SLT Quizoom tonight. This means I may, just may have a chance of winning!!

5.00pm Special Quizoom host James takes centrestage and begins the quiz with some exceptionally highbrow questions.

5.15pm I win the “first to bring tomato ketchup back” round. Elated!

5.30pm Have already downed my G&T. Want another but am scared to top up glass in case people think I’ve a drink problem...

5.31pm James begins the Sports Round. For a fearful second we all think it’s going to be about Manchester United.Reminds me of the joke “How do you confuse a Manchester United fan? Show them a map of Manchester.”

5.45pm To say I’ve learnt a lot about SLT during this quiz would be putting it mildly. Let’s just say what’s said at Quizoom stays at Quizoom.

5.50pm I WON! I WON! I WON!!!

5.51PM Thank you Gavin for being unable to attend. I only went and won Quizoom for Friday 5 June!

Monday 8 June 2020

6.30am David left for work.

8.30am Buy new scales. I think mine are broken.

9.00am Am not eating anything until lunchtime.

9.30am Email Trees By Post to ask where my trees are that I ordered a couple of weeks ago.

11.30am Response from Trees By Post to let me know the trees were delivered on Friday 29 May.

11.31am Rush to the garage to find my Trees By Post delivery which has been sitting in the dark for 11 days.

11.35am Take trees out of garage and introduce them to the blinding sunlight of the back garden. Leaves fall off one of them almost immediately.

12.00pm Log onto panda cam –Yang Guang helps me in moments of trouble.

12.01pm Yes it's lunchtime. Eat a lot.

8.30pm David home and laughs at my new trees whilst I weep into my wine.

Tuesday 9 June 2020

7.00am David left for work.

8.15am Still not eating till lunchtime.

8.30am Message a tiler, recommended by a friend,to ask him to price up my kitchen.

8.35am Tiler wants to pop round Thursday evening.

9.00am Panic order worktops for kitchen as can’t get the tiling done until the worktops are installed.

9.10am Email David to explain my panic buying.

9.11am David ignores me.

9.12am Log onto panda cam. Yang Guang is nowhere to be seen.

9.15am Is it lunchtime yet??

3.00pm David replies to morning message to say worktops look good.

3.05pm Have a doughnut, cheese selection and glass of prosecco to celebrate my panic buy.

8.30pm David home with celeriac. Yes...celeriac.

Wednesday 10 June 2020

6.30am David left for work.

7.45am Had a dream about chips. Not the casino type ones, but proper golden chips, covered in salt and vinegar. I know who would win in a celeriac versus chips competition.

9.00am Again, not eating till lunchtime.

10.30am It’s lunchtime somewhere. Eat scrambled eggs on toast and wish I was eating chips.

12.01pm Put oven on for chips.

2.00pm Phone B&Q and ask how long the queue is. They inform me it’s the same the same size as the B...

3.20pm Log onto pandacam. YangGuang is asleep.

4.00pm Maisy falls asleep on my lap, which makes typing tricky. I can’t wake her so give up typing.

7.00pm David home. I’m watching a scary movie, eating crisps and have not even started dinner.

Thursday 11 June 2020

6.30am David left for work.

7.00am Wake up feeling rubbish after my nine o’clock dinner last night.

9.00am I repeat I will not eat until lunchtime. Actually,this will be easy today due to late dinner.

10.05am Now feel better and want lunch. Sellotape throw-away mask to my face.

12.02pm Wait two whole minutes after midday to prepare lunch. I am so controlled.

3.00pm New scales have arrived! Will weigh myself in the morning...can’t wait to prove my old scales wrong.

6.00pm Waiting for tiler.

6.30pm  Tiler just left. We kept a very sociable distance of 2 meters. I was so pleased to see someone new! He, perhaps less so. Have a bad feeling it’s going to be expensive...

8.00pm David home and asks where the tiler is. I didn’t ask him to stay David...I et him go home!

Friday 12 June 2020

5.45am David left for work.

7.45am Strategically place new scales on flat surface and balance myself precariously on them.

7.46am They seem to be broken. I weigh more on these scales than I did on the old ones.

11.00am New worktops have arrived. They are enormous and take up most of the floor pace in the garage. Am now worried my measurements are wrong.

12.30pm Received a surprise gift through the post. A colleague,who knows me rather well, sent me a new bag for my lunch. I will proudly display this when we all get back to work. Slogan reads:MY LUNCH (May contain just wine)

1.15pm Share diary with SLT.

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