Diary of an Office Kitchen - Week 6

Friday 24 April 2020 Quizoom special

4.30pm Final preparations begin for the Senior Leadership Team Quizoom.

5.00pm Quizoom commences. Mascots are introduced and alcoholic beverages displayed.

5.02pm June, as Quiz Host,is sporting an antenna to give her Wi-Fi an extra boost. It’s a wedding fascinator...let’s hope it helps!

5.15pm Quizoom is paused. There seems to be a very odd noise coming from someone’s house?? Is it June’s antennae?

5.16pm Jane looks perplexed. Then realises that her household is making the strange noise. She has a tree surgeon in performing surgery...yes of course! Friday after 5pm is tree surgery time. We all feel foolish for forgetting.

5.26pm There seems to be someone late to the party trying to get in. Michael is knocking at the virtual door but as he is very late,we decide that he can only join by audio and not video.

5.28pm I win the “bring a toilet-roll back to the screen as quick as you can” round. To say I feel happy is an understatement. These indeed are strange times.

5.40pm After some extremely high brow questions and a lot of running about the house, looking for items, Gavin is announced the winner of Quizoom. Who knew that he would know how may rivets are in the Eiffel Tower? (Google is a marvellous invention. Thank you Tim Berners-Lee)

5.43pm June’s Wi-Fi antennae worked! She should wear it at all times. Quizoom was a success...roll on virtual strip poker.

Monday 27 April 2020

7.00am David left for work. Half my kitchen still believes he is on annual leave. I’m going to have to go downstairs and break it to the other half that he’s left the house and will not get painted today. Sigh.

8.30am Move my office back into my half-finished kitchen. It’s good to be back near the fridge...I’ve missed it.

8.40am Head in fridge.

9.20am Watching Boris Johnson on the TV. Not sure if it’s just me but I’m more fascinated by his hair than usual.

10.01am Head back in fridge.

12.00pm Team meeting via Zoom. No one’s hair stood out for me.

1.30pm Over lunch, finish watching the last episode of Wolf Hall. Anne Boleyn’s beheading almost put me off my cheese and tomato salad...almost.

3.30pm Cousins are arguing about TikTok on WhatsApp. The problem being that we range in ages from 25 to 58. I keep quiet...I had to google TikTok to see what they were falling out over.

8.50pm David home from work with hand sanitiser.

Tuesday 28 April 2020

7.00am David left for work. Again, I will need to pop downstairs to break it to the other half of the kitchen that they will not be painted, decorated or the chosen ones today.

10.00am SLT Zoom meeting commences. I shiver through it and hope no one notices. Would it be rude to get up and just make a cup of tea whilst the meeting is going on?

10.38am Put heating on. April was a lovely Summer. Heading into May is now obviously Autumn.

11.00am Take dogs over to Auchincruive. Maisy and George make friends with a dog named “Adolf”. Due to social distancing, I could not clearly make out what the human was shouting. It did sound like “Adolf – do not hurt those dogs!” To be fair to “Adolf” he seemed like a nice dog. Owner on the other hand was questionable.

11.58am Letter received from the First Minister. I’ll be honest Nicola,you are a bit late telling the nation how to self-isolate and how to recognise symptoms! Nicola also mentions the “U” word (unprecedented). Sigh.

12.00pm Team Zoom meeting commences.

12.27pm At the end of the meeting, Gavin tells a “joke”.

12.27pm Anne ends the meeting. Now that was funny!

3.00pm Consider having a snooze after such a busy morning. Slippery slope.

9.00pm David home from work with a loaf of bread and sorbet.

Wednesday 29 April 2020

6.35am David left for work. I thought he was taking the rest of the week off to finish painting the kitchen. David obviously had other thoughts.

7.00am Get up, wash,and style hair before the day ahead!

9.00am Heating on, jumper on, socks on. Normal service seems to have resumed but at least my hair looks good (ish).

9.10am Text from my sister inviting me to her virtual Pilates class. I respond that I’m busy working on very strategic high level things which means I can’t possibly join her at this time. 

9.11am Play Candy Crush.

9.30am It occurs to be I do not have any Zoom meetings scheduled today. I now regret getting up early to wash and style my hair to look like Olivia Newton John at the end of Grease.

1.00pm Eating lunch (crisps) and wondering what to make for dinner. Chips sound good.

3.00pm Realise Wi-Fi has not been working for at least two hours. This is a low point as I was actually working hard on two documents (yes I know it’s not been a theme in previous weeks). None of my hard work has saved so will need to start both again.

3.02pm Pour a gin and eat another packet of crisps.

8.15pm David home with six...yes six bottles of wine! What a lovely lunch I’ll have tomorrow.

Thursday 30 April 2020

7.00am David left for work. He offered to make me a cup of tea. Hello??? It’s 7am and I don’t need to wash my hair today! I’ve at least another two hours in bed to enjoy.

7.05am Maisy wakes me up.

7.10am Cup of tea made and back in bed.

9.10am Keep staring at six bottles of wine. Is it too early?When is too early??

9.30am Tune into Pop Master. Alexa tells me an hour early. No one likes a show off Alexa.

12.00pm Team Zoom meeting commences. All the team have been busy and spirits are high. (My spirits are kept on a shelf in the kitchen).

1.30pm Email invite received to join the cousins for a quiz night this evening. Form a team with cousin Eric in Limerick. I hereby name our team Holly and Dolly. Eric seems delighted to be Dolly.

7.00pm David home from work for the cousins quiz. He doesn’t want to join me and Dolly but shouts out answers from another room, all of which are wrong.

7.10pm Dolly and I realise that we have stumbled into a Labour Party quiz which happens to be hosted by my cousins husband. There are speeches from two members of the shadow cabinet!! This wasn’t what we signed up for.

9.00pm Holly and Dolly come fourth out of 20 teams! We both keep quiet that we are not fully paid up members of the Labour Party and quietly leave the quiz.

Friday 1 May 2020

6.30am David left for work.

9.30am Start planning a new healthy eating plan for next week whilst eating a packet of biscuits.

12.00pm Text from Mum stating she wants to learn Russian and how would she go about this. She is assuming I know such things.

12.05pm Alphabetise my herbs and spices and take an inventory. Discover a few bottles that date back some time. If my bin wasn’t so full I’d throw them out.

12.10pm Decide to eat the rest of the crisps and biscuits ahead of healthy eating next week. I wouldn’t want temptation in the way.

2.00pm Share diary with SLT.