Diary of an Office Kitchen - Week 50!

Diary of an Office Kitchen - Week 50 (yes week 50)

Day 353 – Monday 8 March 2021

Hello? Is it me you’re looking for?

Dear Diary,

I’m sorry I’ve not written for a while. I’ve been busy, like so busy that you would not believe!

So just to clarify there has been so much going on that at times it’s been hard to keep up. So that’s why I’ve been rather quiet lately and have not updated you, because I’ve been so busy. Non-stop, hectic, frantic. The demands on my time have been all consuming.

2.30pm - Landline is ringing! Yes the landline is ringing!! I wasn’t sure it actually worked anymore and just thought it was there to let me watch Sky TV! Me: Hello! Hello! Yes I’m here! Caller:Hello?

Me: Yes!! Hello, hello! It’s me!!!

Caller: Ummm, hello?

Me: Yes, it’s me. (I did not fall into the trap of asking if it was me they were looking for, like the Lionel Ritchie song – I have boundaries)

Caller: Sorry I don’t know who you are. Why did you call?

Me: Sorry I’m not sure now. Maybe I dialled a wrong number?

Other person: Yes it would appear so. Goodbye.

See I told you I’ve been busy.

Day 354 – Tuesday 9 March 2021

Hands up who’s Quite Intelligent??

Dear Diary,

Welcome back to another exciting day which is exciting as I’ve have been lucky enough to get a ticket to be part of the virtual audience for QI!

I text David to remind him to be home for 6.00pm as that’s when the “studio” opens. It actually opens at 6.30pm but he’s not known for his time-keeping skills. I also tell him that we will need to sneak some alcohol in as we won’t be paying those extortionate prices at the virtual bar...

6.35pm – Log onto link and join the queue to be shown to my seat.

6.36pm – That was quick, I’m seated with drink (not bought from the official bar). Begin watching lots of quite interesting facts pass over the ethernet. The best one was “In ancient Greek the word “idiot” meant anyone who wasn’t a politician”. Sounds about right to me.

7.00pm – Still watching lot’s of quite interesting facts pass by. No sign of Sandi or Alan...they must be queuing at the bar for a drink. Also, no sign of David.

7.20pm – Floor manager welcomes us all to the show! Asks us to clap, laugh and cheer. I’m enjoying the drink from the virtual bar so am more than happy to participate. I suddenly realise I can hear my laugh in delay...

7.25pm – David is home. Well done, only 85 minutes late.

7.30pm – Sandi, Alan and the guests are here! It’s almost like David knew they wouldn’t start until 7.30pm. He looks smug as he’s literally swanned in, is now eating his dinner (which I lovingly prepared by the way for him to eat at 6.30pm) and has a drink in hand.

9.20pm – David has long departed being part of the audience and is now somewhere in the house pretending to work. I’m still part of the experience pretending to find one of the guests funny. (spoiler alert they were not!!)

9.40pm – Show comes to a close and we can all go home. So whilst I thoroughly enjoyed being part of the audience I now have more admiration for the editors of TV world than ever before. I saw Sandi and co getting their make-up touched up and “funny” jokes being stone-walled. However, the bar was well stocked, and Twiglets were available. Also, the journey home to bed was quick (circa 2 minutes).

Day 356 – Wednesday 10 March 2021

Food glorious food

Dear Diary.

We are all being told to keep a food diary, so I thought I would take time out of my busy schedule to record my food intake just for today.

8.30am – breakfast (bacon, poached egg, grilled tomato, toasted bread sausage, baked beans, and hash browns.)

9.00am – snacks

12.00pm – lunch (fresh & smoked salmon rillettes served on rye bread and chicory followed by ice-cream)

1.00pm – more snacks

3.00pm – glass of water – no only joking! Had snacks (ice-cream and crisps, not in the same bowl I hasten to add).

5.00pm – you guessed it...Water... with snacks.

7.00pm – a bit stuffed but managed dinner (Poached salmon in a champagne sauce, served with steamed Anya potatoes tossed in butter and chives, served with fresh, shelled peas) ... well it is a Monday.

9.00pm – light supper (cheese on toast) Look back on my food diary and feel proud. Not eaten as much as I thought! Well done me.

Day 357 – Thursday 11 March 2021

Up and out early for a shuffle...

Dear Diary,

As we both know I’ve been “training (shuffling)” for the Couch to 5K since November 2020. And again, as we both know I completed said task in January 2021. A big celebration party took place the morning I completed all the training and I seem to recall confetti and balloons being released from the sky, although I may have imagined that?

However, you and I both know it’s the Couch to 4.8k that I have achieved. Do I confess? Do I keep lying to myself and pretend I’m going that extra 0.2k ... you bet I do!

6.55am – up and out ready for my 4.8k shuffle. Playlist selected...lets run!

6.56am – running uphill, against the wind and it’s started to rain. I hate the wind, hate the hill, hate running. HATE this!!!

7.05am – running on the flat road, this is good, gentle and wind has dropped. Come on we can do this!

7.10am – uphill again. WHY oh WHY??? I can’t breathe, let alone shuffle. Wind has picked up again and the rain is horizontal.

7.15am – the wind has dropped, the rain has stopped and I’m running downhill “I’m flying without wings”. I hasten to add that song was not what I was listening to. I have some standards...I know they are low most of the time but really! I LOVE RUNNING! I could be an advert for overweight, middle-aged women everywhere. (As long as that advert has a good soundtrack and it’s all downhill).

7.35am – Shuffle completed. And that’s an exact 4.8k. Boom! So, well done me. Again, I’m not eating much and running loads...I’m a changed woman.

8.00am – head in fridge looking for food.

Day 358 – Friday 12 March 2021

“Next slide please”

Dear Diary,

So, we have made it to Friday and we always get here, eventually, in seven days to be exact.

10.00am - The Principal is doing her first live session for all staff and the responsibility of allowing circa 800 staff to attend the session has somehow fallen upon my shoulders. Yes me! Strap yourselves in people. During the presentation I channel Prof Chris Whitty’s 'next slide please' mystery clicker person. The Principal and Gillian are both doing a sterling job of reading their slides, but not once do they use the term “next slide please”. Shame.

10.45am – well that went well. I only managed to disappoint circa 700 people so not all bad. The 99 that I did manage to let in all seemed a relatively amiable bunch.

10.55am – open up emails and my inbox is full of disappointed people who couldn’t view the live session. Honestly, it’s not easy disappointing that many people on mass. I’ll take the positive from that.

11.00am – is it too early to open the wine?